Featuring the Single
The Dippers
by The Tracksuit Collective
ADVISORY WARNING: MAY CAUSE CONFUSION
Listen
Lyrics
[Intro — smooth squelchy synth bassline drops hard, chocolate fountain bubbling in the mix]
Oh yeah... Tracksuit Collective back in the house...
We see that fountain running.
Why dip once when the system lets you double back?
Watch the ledger slide.
[Vocal Hook — smooth R&B harmony]
Dip it once for the state, dip it twice for the grid
Double up the funding on the exact same kid
Oh, the fountain is flowing, the chocolate is deep
While the auditors are fast asleep
[Verse 1 — deadpan groove, same register as the hook, no wink]
Got the census data locked, got the headcount clean
We bill the local council for the whole machine
Then we turn around to parents with a brand new invoice line
Special levies, building upkeep, pay it one more time
That's a double allocation, put it right in the pot
The department never checks what we actually got
[Pre-Chorus — slap bass solo gets aggressive, synths swell]
See the spreadsheet rise, see the numbers flip
Grab another banana, time to double dip
Yeah, line up at the fountain
[Chorus — massive funk explosion]
We are The Dippers (look at that fountain run)
Yeah, The Dippers (we're taking everyone)
Double dipping on the funds, watch the surplus grow
Where the administrative money goes, nobody knows
We are The Dippers (dip it again)
[Verse 2 — same groove, building on Verse 1's mechanism]
Got a grant for ventilation, got a grant for the floor
Filed the paperwork twice, then we asked for some more
Keep the compliance loop spinning till it blurs the line
We got a clearance certificate for wasting your time
The Circular Referral Crew approves the event
Every single dollar is already double-spent
[Bridge — talkbox FX and whispers, beat drops to bass and drums only]
"Did you log the allocation?"
"Yeah, filed it under Miscellaneous Supplies..."
"Sweet... dip it again."
(laughter echoes in the background)
[Chorus — repeat]
We are The Dippers (look at that fountain run)
Yeah, The Dippers (we're taking everyone)
Double dipping on the funds, watch the surplus grow
Where the administrative money goes, nobody knows
[Outro — heavy synth chords fade, fountain sound loops]
Parental advisory... may cause confusion...
Just let the chocolate flow.
Reply all... and pass the plate.
Credits
Written & Produced by: George Watson
Label: Office of Patrick Weiser
Genre: Funk / Smooth R&B
Cast: The Tracksuit Collective
Year: 2026
Category: Satire & Political Commentary
Nec subditus tuus sum, nec amicus.